College Writing

I think the peer revision was a good way to really look at writings in a different way. Not only was I (hopefully) able to help someone else, but when I was giving my revisions I feel it also helped me. I had new ideas to think about and improve my own memoir. I now know to think about specific memories I had and put that into my writing. I want to be able to make the reader feel like they were in the room with me. In the writing “the makers eye” the author explains how writers have to have an ego to write and then must protect it while receiving judgement. I think this is a great point. You have to have confidence in your’e writing and have enough confidence to be criticized. This will make you try new things and have your writing excel.

I really enjoyed your writing! I like the memories you shared and how you connected it to your theme.
One thing I would say to revise is somehow getting the “Creation can bring people together.” statement in the begining of the writing. I became a little confused when you started talking about a different memory, but it made sense in the end.
Another thing I would suggest is to really get into to detail. For example, explain the exact proccess of how you made the tractor shed and tell why you wouldn’t be able to learn that in school.

Have you ever faced a scary challenge that ended up changing your life in so many positive ways? In the year 2022 my dad created and opened his own inclusive theatre company. He wanted a “community where neurotypical and neurodivergent people can join together and share the stage. I have been in dance and theatre my whole life so I excitedly joined. After being cast, my dad approached me and asked if I was willing to choreograph the show. Taken aback by the question I was hesitant to answer, I was only 16 and wasn’t sure If I could handle that. People had big expectations for this show. Since it was our first time we felt we had to prove to other local companies that we can put on a show. Eventually, I came around and decided to take the job, and as weeks of rehearsals went by I prepared myself to start teaching.

When the first day of dance started I was terrified. It was me against fifty kids, all different ages and all different abilities. I had no idea where to start or how to even interact with them. Trying to get the kids to stay on task was the hardest. I wanted us to have fun but also wanted to have good, clean dances. As December came along I will admit I really started to struggle. This job was not only physically tiring but mentally tiring. The kids didn’t want to learn and would tend to just complain about the dances the entire rehearsal. I would put all of my energy into this show and would only receive negative energy in response.  It took a long time for people to start respecting me and eventually they started to listen to me. I would take Saturdays to work with some of the kids one on one. Not only were they learning but I was also. Slowly, I started to become closer and created bonds with all of them.

A few months later it was time for opening night; all of the dances had been learned and rehearsed, and I was so excited to share my work with the audience. During our opening number I remember looking around and becoming overcome with different emotions. Seeing all of the kids who started off with hating the dances were now putting their all into this musical number. After it was over, the cast hugged each other and expressed how happy they were to continue. At the end of the show I was showered with compliments. I was so proud of myself.  All of the hard work had finally paid off. When the show was officially over I took the time to think about how it changed me. I had so much personal growth  from something I was scared to do. I gained confidence, friends and now I’m seen as a role model to so many little kids. It has now been two years since the show and I’ve now choreographed five shows. I’ve also started my own dance lessons. Some of the kids from that first show are now taking my lessons! My overall favorite part of the show were the people. This theatre company has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So many people who support and care for each other, so many bonds that are so strong that could never be broken and so many amazing kids who have a special love for theatre. If someone were to ask me “Would you do something even though you’re afraid you might fail?” I would say “Absolutely.” every time.

Meatballs with mom is a memoir about a mother and daughter making meatballs for dinner, but hints that there is more to the story. The writer uses great details to explain the process of making dinner. Using imagery that describes smells,sounds and even feelings. We see the dinner being made but also see the family problems that the writer was dealing with, such as their mothers drinking problems. The universal meaning of an essay is to grab the attention of the reader and bring them into the story. This writing is a great essay because of the story. My favorite part was at the end when the writer related the future to the past, with how she now makes meatballs with her own kids. Also the details they used. “The burger feeling like a combination of play doh and slime with sand stuck in it but I know it’ll get smoother the more I mix.” They really made us feel like we were making dinner with them. I think the writer did a great job telling the story. They didn’t leave out a single detail. I will try to do this with my memoir. I want to tell my story and have the readers feel as if they were there with me.

What’s the difference between using Artificial intelligence in a writing class and a calculator in a math class? In my opinion, there isn’t one. They are both tools you use to find an answer. While using a calculator you type in an equation and get your answer. With artificial intelligence your prompt you ask it to do is just like your math equation. Both of these tools can be used for good and bad. They can help struggling students with problems such as complex equations or generating ideas for an essay. On the other side they can be used to cheat or people using the outcome word for word on their assignments. If they are used properly they can enhance learning experiences. Another example of how they are the same is if you depend too much on one of these tools you may lose basic understanding of these subjects. If you use a calculator for every problem you solve you are getting no practice with mental math. Same goes with AI, if you constantly use it to write your essays your writing abilities will never improve.AI gets so much hate when calculators are basically the same tool but just for a different subject. Both give you an answer, it just depends on how you use it. Artificial intelligence and calculators should be used for good. For learning and generating new ideas, not copying and cheating. Finally, AI and calculators are very similar but not enough people see that. If people used AI for the correct reasons it would be used in classrooms just like calculators are.

I’ve always enjoyed writing. English has always been my pick out of the four core classes. Some of my favorite memories of writing are from elementary school. I LOVED writing fiction stories. I think getting creative and having a blank page to write whatever you want was so much fun. Another thing about writing I like is using imagery. Describing noise, smells, even how something tastes is something else you can get creative with. From the writing there’s an example of “The Little Green Ball and Some People: Doing Details Right” It explains that you may read and imagine something differently then someone else reading the same sentence. That’s why imagery is so important. I think expressing yourself is important. Personally I love to dance but would also love to find a new way of expressing myself through writing. It can be a good way to get through a stressor I may be dealing with. One of my weaknesses would probably be with reading. I’m the type of person who will read a whole page and then realize I actually have no idea what I just read. Which can affect my writing. With doing something like a research paper there’s a lot of reading to do and I may become lost and confused.

What is the best type of dog?

“Labradors are known for their friendly, outgoing nature, making them great companions for both individuals and families. Their patient temperament makes them excellent with children and other pets, while their intelligence and eagerness to please make them relatively easy to train. Whether as a working dog, a therapy dog, or simply a loyal pet, the Labrador thrives in a variety of roles, showcasing its versatility.

I believe this essay is accurate. I own a labrador myself and I can definitely agree with what it stated. It gives good examples of why a Lab would be the best type of dog. Such as “Their patient temperament makes them excellent with children and other pets” and “their intelligence and eagerness to please make them relatively easy to train” It also explains that this can be different for everyone and all depends on “individual needs and preferences” . I think using this whole essay should count as plagiarism. It’s technically taking someone else’s answer and using it for your own. I don’t think revising it will make it an acceptable submission either. We should use AI for guidance and ideas. For example, copying and pasting this essay word for word is not okay but using it as an example and writing your own essay while using some of the ideas that were used is.